I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize