You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
