Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
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