she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
