his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
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Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
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He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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