She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
