Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
