i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
