omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
they need to just BURY HIM!
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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