Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
