Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
