The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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