Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize