Porn is love you can see.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
