After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
