I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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