Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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