I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
