In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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