How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
