I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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