Dual....:-)
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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