i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
