k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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