you guys were way drunker than both of me
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
