Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
