We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
