you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
