kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
