It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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