he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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