I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
