Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
