she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
