he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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