You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
