Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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