When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
