My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
