Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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