So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
