Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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