Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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