dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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