so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
