we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
