Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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