Just fell off a train. Bad.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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