found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
