I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize