i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
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No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
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She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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