we have officially lost it.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
