Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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