You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
sex in a hospital.. check
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
