So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
