is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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