Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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