I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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