omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
