Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
