he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
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I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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