Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
