So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
