Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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