Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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