Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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