We should be called the Road Head Warriors
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
