Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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