I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
